Are only children really self-centred, spoilt and lonely?

by ARKANSAS DIGITAL NEWS


New Scientist. Science news and long reads from expert journalists, covering developments in science, technology, health and the environment on the website and the magazine.

I am an only child. Saying this sometimes feels like a confession – not least when people respond with a well-meaning “oh, you don’t seem like it!”. Now, as the mother of a preschooler, I see my daughter navigating the same assumptions. “Does she have older siblings?” one teacher asked recently. “She plays so well with the other kids!”

If it seems like I am bragging about my (or my daughter’s) behaviour, you will have to excuse me: I am, after all, an only child.

For over a century, we have been seen as odd, at best; antisocial, neurotic and narcissistic, at worst. “Being an only child is a disease in itself,” declared 19th-century child psychologist Granville Stanley Hall.

Whether there are actually any differences between the personalities and well-being of singleton children and those with siblings remains a contentious question – one given fresh impetus by the growing trend of one-and-done parenting.

Single-child families have become more common since the 1970s in high-income countries, including the US and UK, whether “by constraint or by choice”, says Éva Beaujouan, a demographer at the University of Vienna, Austria. In Europe, nearly half of all households with children have just one child.

Despite their growing popularity, one-child families continue to encounter a long-held view that this arrangement is somehow harmful. Fortunately, delving into contemporary research can offer a degree of clarity – and it hints that being an only child can come with surprising outcomes. The findings may offer some reassurance for one-and-done parents and those still debating how many…



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